Here and There; This and That...: WHAT IS ALL THIS RUBBISH?!!!

Here and There; This and That...: WHAT IS ALL THIS RUBBISH?!!!: This is certainly shocking! Outrageous! Unbelievable! Ridiculous! And above all, very annoying! Imagine some misfits in the US who call the...

WHAT IS ALL THIS RUBBISH?!!!

 This is certainly shocking! Outrageous! Unbelievable! Ridiculous! And above all, very annoying! Imagine some misfits in the US who call themselves Nigerians protesting the anti-gay bill just passed by the National assembly. It is indeed very sad that the world we live in has become so decadent that people can now come out to publicly declare their shamelessness and foolishness and promiscuity.
If you investigate very well, you will find out that all these people calling themselves full citizens of Nigeria have NEVER stepped on the shores of this great country. Most of them were born in the US and have lived all their lives there. Most of them are products of broken homes; most of them are very confused individuals because the American society has made them so. Check very well, half of the American society is confused! A lot of them are bi-sexual, not knowing whether to stick to a man or a woman; so many of them are transvestites, not knowing whether to dress as a man or a woman; many of them pierce the most obscene parts of their bodies and a lot more distort their bodies just to prove a useless point. Very many of them don't even know whether they are whites or blacks! It is as bad as that!

And here they are trying to make us confused too. If these guys are truly Nigerians and Africans, then a big shame on them! In this time and age when we are trying to sell our cultural values to the western world, they are trying to import rubbish into the country.

Many people have argued that individuals have a right to do whatever they like to their bodies and to themselves and rightly so too. You see, a crime is what the State says it is. But the State will not follow you to your bedroom to monitor you, the State does not know...and does not want to know whether you're daily, engaged in the act of sodomy within the confines and secrecy of your room. It is a jurisprudential matter. The state however, does not only care for a certain group of people, but for all. So, if you as a homo or a lesbian think you're being treated unfairly what about those who will be offended by your unnatural acts especially when such acts are publicly displayed?

For the avoidance of doubt, the Bill has not abolished or prohibited the "straffing" of a man by a man, or the "straffing" of a woman by a woman in the privacy of your dirty sick room; you can go ahead and do that as long as you are not caught (again this is a jurisprudential discourse which I am very unwilling to explore now). What the State is simply saying is that "DO NOT POLLUTE OUR SOCIETY WITH YOUR SICK BEHAVIOURS AND TENDENCIES". I have the right not to have my senses abused by the sight of two grown-up men kissing and necking and smooching on the streets as much as you have the right to do so. So, why don't we just help ourselves; do your smooching and ass banging in your sick room while I go about my business!

It's a big shame to you Nigerians out there. Don't even have the misguided belief that you're fighting for the rights of folks back at home. If you really want something to protest about, why don't you start with protesting the oil subsidy removal?

Here and There; This and That...: SENATE, UNA TRY!

Here and There; This and That...: SENATE, UNA TRY!: So the Nigerian Senate yesterday, approved the Anti-gay marriage Bill amidst so much pressure to do otherwise. If you ask me, this is about...

SENATE, UNA TRY!

 So the Nigerian Senate yesterday, approved the Anti-gay marriage Bill amidst so much pressure to do otherwise. If you ask me, this is about the best news to have come out from the Upper Chambers of the National Assembly since this new administration. What with all the lame and annoying Bills we've been hearing about in the past few weeks! First was the proposed Bill to legalise prostitution sponsored by that.....(I don't even want to know what his name is and from what constituency he's from); and then the audacious demonstration staged by the gays and lesbians to the National Assembly to press home their demand to legalise homosexuality and lesbianism? Brrrrrrrrrrr! I have goose pimples all over my body!

What is the African Society turning to? In years past, one could not even talk about having had sex outside of marriage for fear of being punished publicly or even killed. A lady could not boast about having visited her suitor talk less of sleeping over at his place before marriage...(well a lot of that has changed now), and for good reasons too...which I support! But homosexuality? Lesbianism?

One very annoying thing about all this is that Britain kon dey treaten us again!!! Dem dey yarn rubbish because say dem dey support us wit some kain tashiri pepper!!! Dem don colonise our land, our brain, our leaders, our government...now dem wan colonise our sexual orientation!!! Dem wan colonise the kain people wey we fit straff!!! I DEY VEX!!! If I was a member of the Senate, I would go into the Chambers with a T-shirt that bears the inscription: "F**K YOU AND YOUR AID!" Ahn ahn! E don too mush!!!

We cannot allow these so-called and self acclaimed super powers dictate everything to us! We have everything it takes to live independently of their Aid; but it is a pity that we have not yet fully tapped into our potentials. I hail the Senate for this bold step and I hope that they will have the guts to take more radical decisions for the overall welfare of the Nigerian people.

EL-RUFAI LOSES DAUGHTER :(

I was so heartbroken when I heard and read of the death of the eldest daughter of  former Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Mallam Nasir El-Rufai. It is always devastating to lose a relative however distant, not to mention a beloved first daughter; and one as pretty as she was and who in a very short period was able to achieve academic records as she did. At the tender age of 25 she had already bagged two degrees; one in Economics and the other in Law. And then she had even a Masters degree from the very prestigious London School of Economics. Oh boy! At the age of 25 I was still a 200 level student of the Faculty of Law in the prestigious University of Ibadan. See what the combination of money and brains can do?

I commiserate with the former Minister and even though I didn't know her before her death, I am deeply heartbroken! Don't you see how pretty she was? Damn! This is somebody who, by some very rare chance, could have been my wife. But as we always say, God knows best. May her gentle soul rest in the bosom of the Lord and may god grant Mallam El-Rufai the fortitude to bear this great loss!

The very sad end of Gadaffi: lesson for all leaders!

 Take a good look at this man. Yeah, the man in the picture. Take a very good look at him. Yes, that's the face of a confirmed idiot! You don't agree? Okay, take a look at the picture below. Now you agree?

I don't know why these African leaders always think with their asses. You have ruled your country for over 40 years - with an iron hand for that matter - you have placed your children in the choicest positions of Government; you have run the country like you run your own family; you have used the country's money to set up private business enterprises in various countries; you have violated every human right rule known to man; what more could you want? When the people cried foul, you used them as human shields against fire power, you refused to relinquish power; for what purpose? Now you're dead! killed like a chicken, or better still, like a rabbit hunted down to its hole. What a shame!

To many people though, he was a hero, a fine soldier, a brave man, a leader. But to me, he was the greatest coward ever heard of, a dictator, a tyrant. But I feel sorry for him though, I honestly do. I know that he was not a master of his own actions, he was being led by the "African mentality" of our African leaders who want to cling to power by all means necessary at the expense of the respect that is due to them. After ruling Libya for 42 years, Gadaffi was a legend; he was a force to reckon with but he decided to throw away all that respect and relevance for more years in power. In other countries, the West to be precise, people resign from their exalted positions just for making wrong comments, for making wrong decisions and for being involved in scandals, whether moral or otherwise. But in Africa, it is not so! They will rather die shamefully than give up power.

A few years ago, our very own Baba Iyabo tried to hatch his third term bid; but thanks to democracy, he did not succeed. I remember then, his spokes man, Femi Fani-Kayode referred to him as the Messiah and the only person that can deliver Nigeria and I was like "After eight years"? It took Jesus Christ just three years to perfect his Ministry! And then the case of Laurent Gbagbo, the Ivorien President who refused to give up power after an election he lost, was the most annoying. A few months ago, Hosni Mubarak was shamefully dethroned after a series of protests by the people. And a few months before that too Ben Ali of Tunisia was forced to flee his seat as President after a month of protests.

There's a plethora of cases of African Presidents and heads of state not willing to give up power even after their term expires. Why are African leaders so power-drunken? It is just a pity. The annoying thing about all these is that those leaders who are still clinging to power now will never learn from the mistakes of those before them. But I don't blame them; Gadaffi did not learn either. But see where it has landed him! Who's next?

Now who's the rat; NTC or Gadaffi?

lifeless body of Gadaffi

BABA SUWE, WE ARE WAITING FOR YOUR EXPENSIVE SHIT OH!

About a week ago, Ace Yoruba actor and comedian, Alhaji Olasunkanmi Omidina, popular known as "Baba Suwe" was arrested at the Murtala Mohammed International Airport, Lagos, by men of the NDLEA on the suspicion that he was carrying Cocaine in his stomach. His arrest came as a great shock to his numerous fans. The greatest shock however was not in his arrest but for what he was arrested.

Now this man has been in detention for the past week and the officials of NDLEA have been feeding him with all sorts just so he can "shit out" the Cocaine suspected to be lodged in his system. We hear that he was tested twice, and each test showed that he had the "expensive" stuff inside of him. But come on! This is like a week after and still no expensive shit! What kind of purgative are they feeding him with? It is either Baba Suwe is outrightly innocent or the NDLEA scanners are terribly faulty.

But wait oh, what if it turns out eventually that this man is innocent, and has been all along? Will he just go home with an apology no matter how unreserved it may be or will he do what the right-thinking man would do...sue their asses?! Only time will tell. But if I were him, this could be the right time to teach these inept narc officials some lessons. Imagine the embarrassment! Imagine the loss! I understand this guy was on his way to France to act as MC at a naming ceremony; do you know how much he would have made? Do you know the   level of disappointment and hardship his failure to make it to France has caused his immediate employers? But if on the other hand, Baba Suwe is found guilty by virtue of the contents of his expensive shit, then "im own don finish be dat"!

I understand that a few years ago, something similar to this happened to another comedian..."Papa Aluwe". He also was accused of carrying cocaine only for them to realise that it was "Elubo". Well, that was before the installation of the "Coke scanners".

Our fingers are crossed, our eyes are wide open. This much-awaited shit is too expensive to be ignored; and the issues expected to arise from it too interesting to be waived by the hand. The whole nation is eagerly awaiting the outcome of this drama as the watchman wait for dawn.

To my Childhood...

I know very many of you will be staring at this picture and you'll be like "aaawww, what a cute baby"! For some of you who like to drool, I'm sure you're doing that already; but drooling is allowed, this blog is droolproof...lol.

Yep, that's me..in case you were wondering. If the information I got is correct, that would be me when I was about 6 months old. I was going through some of my old stuff when I stumbled on this picture and I immediately fell in love with it...again! Who would have thought that I was this cute when I was a baby? How time flies! I almost don't believe that this is me. Not that I look so bad now, but mehn! I was a stunner! Take a good look at the afro, the bulging eyes, the pink, supple lips; not to even mention the bling bling! Back in the days, Terry G and all those bling freaks would not compete with me.

But seriously, this is the reason why my sister keeps telling me "your wife must be fine oh! She must be beauty in the eyes of every beholder, not just in your eyes" and I kinda agree with her. I mean, in searching for a wife or husband, one must put everything into consideration. While it is extremely advisable to look out for the inner beauty, one must not neglect the physical appearance as well...that is equally important! As our comedians will always say, "we must help our generation". So I'm searching for a wife that can be rated as balanced. I do not expect her to possess all the virtues in the Holy Book, but I also do not expect less in her appearance. So help me God!

Anyways, enough of the wife advert. I guess very many people would like to go back into time and be babies once more...when you didn't have to worry about a thing, didn't care about running around the neighbourhood naked, didn't have to pay rent, school fees, buy food etc. Such is the beauty of childhood...no worries. But alas! We must grow up to become men and Women, with the ability to fend for ourselves until the cycle of dependency runs its full course.

So, here I am, with a glass filled with wine (at least in my mind), giving a toast to all those who miss their childhood. You also will have children that you can be proud of. Amen!

T.G.I.F

I have never been a fan of Fridays for just one simple reason: It is not different from every other day. Yet a lot of people all over the world are crazy about the day...and if I may add, for the wrong reasons. To very many, Friday is a day to hang out in one of those nice little clubs where you indulge yourself in so many things without worrying about the next day; it is day for many others to have a sense of rest. I say "sense of rest" deliberately because many people still have to leave their homes for the office to tidy up their desks during the weekend. So what happened to the lovely weekend you looked forward to? Question is: Is it the day we are excited about or the days after it?

I have tried to understand the origin of T.G.I.F and this has led me into carrying out a little research. I'll just reproduce my findings here:

TGIF is an initialism for the phrase "Thank God (or Goodness) It's Friday", celebrating the last day of the work/school week before the weekend.[1][2] Its origin dates to the 1960s[citation needed]. It was first popularized by the restaurant T.G.I. Friday's which was founded in 1965[citation needed]. However, it became mainstream by 1970[citation needed], mainly due to the 1967 movie of the same name. It is also an acronym for Toes Go In First, which is the punch-line of various blonde jokes.[citation needed]

I bet, majority of Friday-lovers and party rockers did not know the foregoing. May I point out that the world has changed since the 1960s? We are in a fast-paced world and everything just goes "voooooooooooom" these days. In the past, people actually looked forward to the weekends but the same cannot be said for these days. Imagine that you're a banker, a telecommunications worker, a doctor or even a lawyer; and you have been given an assignment for which a report is required by Monday; will the weekend appear friendly to you at all? And yet we still shout T.G.I.F!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad at the day; there's a lot of joy in having fun...and I mean "a lot of joy". I'm just mad at the system! My point is that we all shout T.G.I.F, yet we still have to contend with the terrible traffic even before we get to the clubs or local joints and if you are very unlucky, the sales boy/girl might bring you a drink and say "Oga no vex, the drink no cold, we no get lite since". For those that can afford the Clubs, the drinks are very expensive because they have to put the cost of cooling the drinks into consideration.

I love Fridays, but the Government of the day will not allow me enjoy it. The crisis in the country will not allow me enjoy it (I don't know which joint Boko Haram will attack next); and for those of you who still find themselves at work during the weekends, your employers will not allow you enjoy it. So next time when you put up the caption "T.G.I.F" on your Blackberry DP, or you share a picture on Facebook, or you tweet about how wonderful the Friday is, ask yourself: Do I really mean it? Or better still, if I get drunk this Friday night, will I enjoy the days after it?

If I may proffer a little advice; reserve the "bottle licking" and the "party rocking" and the "general grooving" till Saturday night. There's usually more fun on that night. Try it! T.G.I.S (Thank God It's Saturday).

Dusty Brain...

Well, here I am, starting up something I like to do...putting my thoughts on paper! But this time, on a very much larger paper, the internet. I remember a few years ago as an undergraduate in the prestigious Faculty of Law of the equally prestigious University of Ibadan, I acted as the Deputy Editor-in-Chief of the Law Press Organisation (LPO); and it was a thing of joy to see fellow students gather round the Press Board to read your articles and make comments. Of course you would expect that some of the comments would not be friendly especially when the article made reference to the commentators in such a way as you may describe as "uncomfortable". On the other hand, it was really uplifting to hear wonderful comments about your article; how it was brilliantly presented, how articulate, how funny...and all that stuff. Only thing is you could not publicly acknowledge such accolades because we all wrote, using our pseudonyms.

That was some years ago. For about 2 years now, I have not written one single article; where is the time, where is the audience? The result is that I have grown cobwebs in my brain. But I have decided to do some cleaning and serious mental sanitation; no more shall I allow cobwebs and dust to gather in my brain...and thanks to the Internet, I have the desired audience.

Like in my University days, I am going to write articles on this blog on virtually every topic that comes to my mind...politics, fashion, morality, education, fiction, poems, inspirational, gossips, name it! And like those days, I expect people to make comments...I am ready for them, whether good or bad.

I welcome you all to this blog and hope that we find each other exciting and interesting!